Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
