hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
