Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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