sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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