I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
