Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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