I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
