Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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