He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
