If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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