Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
