No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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