Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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