I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
