Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish you could order shots online.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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