jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
