New invention idea: vibrating tampons
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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