my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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