i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
