Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
