I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
