Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
