He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
