she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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