My balls are so social today.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
