Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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