I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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