What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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