So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
