"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
