Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize