sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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