Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
