i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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