I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish I only lived at night.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
