Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
