3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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