its not stalking. its research.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
