I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
