dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
