what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize