Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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