Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
