No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
