Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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