some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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