i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
false alarm, still single
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
