Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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