Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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