Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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