Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
