ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I forget how to act sober
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
