we're blogging at a bar
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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