I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
