dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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