You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
