Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize