I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
